she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize