I wish I could teleport
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Never joke about your clitoris.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
