Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
