my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
