is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
