This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
