Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
