hotel room ftw
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
