brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
