he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i think i have two assholes
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Randomize
