We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
