i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
