Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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