Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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