I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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