The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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