yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
