you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You need a sexual gate keeper
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize