she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
