Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
