Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
