Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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