Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
