He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
