Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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