i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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