I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
