$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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