Well douche your snatch and let's go!
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he puts the penis in happiness.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
