She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
This girl is more easily done than said...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
