that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
