Someone shit on the floor
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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