I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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