Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
