his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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