We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
