come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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