Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
