Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
