Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I'm chasing vodka with french fries.

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(480): View more from Arizona

gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.

(662): View more from Mississippi

I think college has really matured you.

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(406): View more from Montana

i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal

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(334): View more from Alabama

Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.

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(845): View more from New York

I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.

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(815): View more from Illinois

To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day

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(626): View more from California

I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you

(909): View more from California

I have that affect on people

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