Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
