Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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