I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
