i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
