It's just like the Real World with babies
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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