I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
