Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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