im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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