is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
