I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
