I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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