your parents love me but you hate me
You really coming over, don't trick.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize