She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
