he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
