My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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