So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
