Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
