i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
