Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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