I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
