Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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