you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
