Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize