Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
