I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize