I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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