I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
