Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Someone signed my nipple.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
