anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Do vagina's smell?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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