when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
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