My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I need a beard to bite.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
