don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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